Valentine Special: Rejection Lines... perfect for all your confectionery put downs.

Before embarking on the confrontation cookies (see previous post) we came up with a list of rude, but not mean, things 12 year old boys and older girls could say to someone they would like to know less. Once I reached my 20's I realized there were many scenes that I didn't have the script for. Just trying to help my kids learn the script. :)
Here are some examples that I am trying to teach SKJN&M:
Someone asks you to babysit, go on a date etc.? I'd love to but I can't.
Someone asks you a very personal, and inappropriate question? Why do you ask?
What is your phone number? 8o1-WAY-WRNG. [just give a wrong number, practice before you need it.]
::X::X::X::X::X::
The phrases needed to be short and slightly funny. Here is the list we came up with:
Scram
Plop
As if
Don't even
ha ha ha ha ha
1800 GET LOST
Get Lost
Thanks for Asking
Next Time
Not U Again
Just Try.
Ha Ha NO.
Go Away
UR A ...
Poop
Nasty
Forget It
& Who Are You?
What's that Smell?
Maybe next time?
No Thanks
No
Now Go Away
Hardly
Love to, Not
Right
Gross
Sick
In Your Dreams
My favorite: What's That?

Nice ones:
Cutie Pie
Ask Me
I hope.
Cool Cat
(heart) of Gold
Smiley Face
Cupcake.
Hey Z! Have any contributions?

V is for Valerie Phillips.

"Classy confections — Artisans know beans about chocolate" Ah ah ah. Oooh, that Valerie Phillips has done it again! She just has a word with ways, no wait that's Bush... she just knows how to stir up a tasty and tempting title.
The article is about 2 chocolatiers in Utah, some of the best in the country. They are so great they win national awards. I first read about them in a different section of the paper, naturally. I would love to go on a chocolate hunt and find out for myself why they are so divine, especially since my former favorite Scharffen Berger (now a Hershey company) is just not right any more. However, for the last while chocolate gives me a serious head & stomach ache. Boo hoo hoo. I would have loved the article even more! had it not been so tepid, short and full of cliches.
A friend recently asked what Valerie Phillips looks like. She is the food editor for a large-ish daily paper ... I think it is fair that I publish hers, if not a bit mean spirited.

A question here might be, "What would Rona do?" She wouldn't flinch: publish it. David Letterman's criteria for making fun of someone is that if it is something the person has done to him/herself it is fair game. If the situation is involuntary, don't use it. Clinton's "zipper problem" = fair game. The stupid things Paris Hilton's says? Fair. Hmmmm. Now that I am thinking about it... he might not publish VP's mug shot. She can't help that she likes green bean casserole, with fried canned onions on top ... but then again, she could have cooked up a garnished portrait with more flair, style and icing.

The other articles are about old-fashioned puddings (about 800 calories a bite) and chicken pot pies on the fast with frozen puff pastry tops. How elegant, upscale and quick!

I read all this and wonder, "Who chooses this stuff?" Oh yeah. Madame Phillips, Food Editor.

G is for GINGERBREAD!

Gingerbread.
This is the best, most simple, most consistent and yummiest recipe, ever. Also, it has a lovely texture. I've tried a lot. We have been making it for over 10 years. I'm thinking that we just had our last Gingerbread party though... feel as though I've run an extra mile after running a marathon. Here is the recipe.

• Preheat oven to 350ºf Cover cookie sheets with parchment paper. It is reusable and fat free.

Heat to boiling point:
1 cup MOLASSES
Add: 1/2 cup SUGAR
6 tablespoons BUTTER
2 tablespoons MILK

Mix: 4 cups FLOUR
1 teaspoon BAKING SODA
1 teaspoon SALT Maybe a little less
1 teaspoon NUTMEG
1 teaspoon CINNAMON
1 teaspoon ground CLOVES
1 teaspoon GINGER, powered
Add molasses mixture to flour mixture.
Blend well. If the dough isn’t holding together, or you like it more malleable add a few tablespoons of warm water or milk.
Roll out the dough about 1/4 inch thick and cut into large and small gingerbread men, using special cookie cutters or very sharp knife.
• Bake for 5–7 minutes.
• Decorate when cool with frosting, candies, etc.
• If it gets too dry or crumbly put it in the microwave for abou 20 seconds, or less. Don't handle the dough too much.

H 1997

Y is for Yum. Peach Chocolate Chip Shortcake.

I'm in the mood do create something sweet for K and C who will return from China tomorrow. Perhaps I will make this:
[WILL GET A PICTURE SOMETIME SOON.]
PEACHES or Strawberry & Chocolate Shortcakes

Preheat oven to 400ºf
Cover cookie sheets with parchment paper

Prepare lots of peaches by washing, cutting into quarters and gently cover with about 1/2 cup sugar (not too much, actually use less.) Use only a trace of sugar. Allow peaches to macerate in the sugar and the water.

Combine in a large bowl and then whisk to blend.
2 cups all purpose flour
1/4cup sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Add:
1/2 cup chilled unsalted butter,
cut into 1/2-inch cubes

When mixture resembles coarse meal, mix in:
3 ounces semi sweet chocolate
coarsely grates or about
1/4 cup mini semi sweet
chocolate chips
In a small bowl beat together:
1/2 cup chilled whole milk
1 large egg

Gradually add milk mixture to dry ingredients, tossing until dough comes together in moist clumps. Gather dough together. Turn out onto lightly floured surface and gently knead 5 turns to combine. Be careful not to over mix or else dough will be tough.

The short cake can be served as one large and dramatic cake or as smaller individual ones. To make smaller cakes gently shape into 8-inch-long log. Cut log crosswise into 8 rounds; shape each into 2 1/2 x 3/4 inch round. Arrange rounds on prepared baking sheet.

Bake biscuits until bottoms are golden, about 15 minutes. Cool on rack.

Cut warm biscuits horizontally in half. Place bottom halves in shallow bowls. Spoon peach mixture in middle and spoon cream over. Cover with biscuit tops.