I get it. Really.

Hey JT, in NYC,

[Mid-life crisis] I get it. Really get it.
The other day this guy insulted the needle books that I'm trying to sell on ETSY (Ugh. Long story.) Suggested that I'd sell them for, what?, $5.00 each. I'm thinking +$30.

Then a b*tchmom at ballet asked me if my GRANDDAUGHTER was in the class. I looked pretty damn hep that day too. She was sloppy & preggo but I wasn't going to be so classless as to ask her when she was due. Then, when she found out that darling M is my DAUGHTER she crassly said, "So, tell me about M. What's THAT on her head?" Young idiot.

At a party for the Chinese New Year every single conversation descended into yet another laundry list of C's heath issues. I kept excusing myself, finally just waiting in the car, big day the next day.

On Thursday, coming home from the hospital with C, I saw a huge billboard advertising Blue Oyster Cult! They are playing Wendover, NV. I am NO fan of BOC, nor Wendover, but suddenly it seemed like a great idea. Just get me outta here!

The 40's are rough. That feeling of relentlessly putting one foot in front of the other is wearing on the bones and soul. Greatness though, is wasted on the young and also not exclusively theirs. Keep writing. Keep loving. Keep moving forward. 

xoxo
H
Glad you liked the card. Would have liked to see you more while in UT.

Hell is being alone in Wal*mart.

You, only you, are alone in hell ... surrounded only by zombie like figures wearing faded red vests. Go ahead, ask them anything... they will only stare back, possibly drool, or absently look busy as they straighten items on the shelves. The lights hum, and the TV yarns on and on about a product sale that you have no need of. --This was my hell at 6:45 this morning. I needed to get a cat carrier to take the TWO sweet, furry BOYS to the clinic.

N, C & M told some lovely jokes tonight at the AG Bell Speech Fair. It was cute and they did a good job. C & N wore nifty bow ties, just to be funny. The theme was sports. There was NO way I was going dressed as an enthusiast of spin.

All the children who performed tonight were amazing.

Becky White called me repeatedly to see/make sure we'd be there. We were and even Devan and Gama joined in the fun. Turns out Mr. Tim Smith (:P USDB Superintendent) made an announcement that USDB is going to build a NEW building for USDB/South, under the able direction of Marilyn Madsen! Turns out the Alpine School Dist., (under the assistant-superintendent's direction Mr. ROB Smith, Tim's son) has arranged for USDB to use the land that it has used for +20 years at Orem Elementary. (Michelle & I suggested that brilliant idea about 4 years ago only to be told that the then Lame-o SuperInt. didn't allow Alpine to talk to parents. So Alpine Sc. Dist. (Rob Smith) stopped talking to us.) Gee wow?!

The description of the future building sounded like he was reading the letter I wrote to the state big wigs and also the J2H Vision Statement. No one besides Tim, Marilyn, the Alpine School Dist & the State Legeslature were given any credit. It will be modular. Opening next September. Oooh ahh. Grand.

Wash my hands of it. I do wonder if Becky wanted me there to hear that. Later when I cordially congratulated Mr. Smith and he cleverly demurred to Marilyn, who Kim Saul [Didn't she retire from USDB?] called the best USDB Pre-school director in the state. (She is the only one with that title.)

Next year K, J, N & M will be going to Walden! I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that all goes well. Another year of 5 children & 5 schools/ways will pretty much do me in.

Where am I? Where was I?

Hello!

If your computer is kaput, your phone and camera are lost, do you continue to exist?
Modern philosophical dilemmas...
My computer's hard drive needed to be replaced.
Lost my phone.
And my camera.
Lovely holiday vacation.

Now the van's battery is dead dead dead.
School is open.

FUNNY true story

One advantage of not sleeping is making discoveries while not making any noise in the house... can't vacuum, might as well clean up my computer's desktop. Realize that I've never posted this. It is a sketch of a night a year and a half ago:
26 May 2007
6:40 p.m.
Roll Camera! Action.

Higgin-s drive up in a full Suburban. Steph, Dave, 4 children and one friend, Tatum. The plan is to do some tie dye.

H is asleep in the van, lost track of the time. Crashed there after a Long day. Even in the van 4 people have come up to her and talked to her, before the friends arrive.

One little boy w/o his CI starts out the evening with a time-out in a closet. Freaking out in family room.

Adults at counter calmly eating fruit, bread and cheese. Roses on the counter, v. smelly.
Conversations about high school senior parties/trips. Drunk kids.

Amy, Jay’s wife, walks in with the wee bitty baby. Asking if it’s OK to change the baby’s diaper. Fine, fine. That means that Jay is here to get the llamas, all 7 of them? Just having a little party, did you call to say you were coming by? An hour later she is seen feeding the baby in the dinning room. No one sees or hears from her the entire evening.

The children are playing out side, they take the taekwondo kicking target outside and fill it with water, first time in 1½ years.

Wee bitty baby crying in the back ground.

Jumping on the trampoline?

The children start helping Jay get the llamas. Karl gets kicked in the hip. Joey, Karl’s friend in a tie dye shirt, was not out there at the time.

Julian’s animated friend Jared is visiting. They start making a movie.

Tie dye starts, can’t get the kids to come in to soak their shirts. Stephanie mixes up the die.

H starts to clean out garage, extract a second table. Gets a phone call about needing to pay $1.50 for Nathan’s school lunch account. Never mind that it is a Saturday night and he doesn’t ever take school lunch, and the one day (practice for 1st grade) he did he brought the money but the school never got it. Will send it again.

Sick boy in hammock: Gabe. Oh dear.

3 little girls, 2 w/ hearing loss. Running around squealing. Flashes of cuteness.
Gama (from California, didn't even know she was in town!) shows up with a very elegant silver cake server in a humble, crumpled brown paper bag. Talk about family reunion of sorts.

Neighbor Jeremy, C’s friend, shows up on a racing BMX bike riding wheelies. Tries out C’s grandpa bike, does wheelies on that too! (Later we found out that Jer's wife (also a close friend) was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and that same week his sister had passed away, to cancer.)

Husband of the house, C, is cleaning his mountain bike?
Jay & Jeremy talk.

Ann Maeser drops by mail from old house (we moved 4.5 years ago)
- announcement: random (unknown) ugly girl getting married. Good for her.
- K’s scholarship certificate $100.00, for string camp.
- Precious niece’s birth announcement!

Random neighbor with a dog shows up, we don’t know her but her dog drives our Ginger nuts. Must put G in studio. Bark bark bark.

Tie dye squirting all over.
S’s friend Ashley shows up. They start to tie dye. Will wear shirts on yearbook day.

Llamas in a trailer, some in the road. (K got kicked here) Some llamas attached to trailer, others loose walking in the road. Cars going by some slowing down, some going fast. Tatum combing baby llama -- it rears up scarring her and H.

Ice cream treats. Can I have seconds? NO. Push ups, drum sticks, fat boys.

More tie dye. More shirts, plastic bags, drips.

A cel phone rings.

H is wearing some favorite clothes, a linen shirt. & A tie dyed apron.

N is coughing.
Dave is coughing.

C takes girls on bike ride in trailer.

Children spinning around fast fast in hammock chair.
Dave sitting with Gabe, who is really not feeling well.

They are about to pull out when it looks as though Gabe is going to puke. H dumps cute plastic tub of rubber bands on to table. He doesn’t puke. She swaps for not so cute hotel ice bucket.

S and Ashley are sitting in a car, anxious to practice. No license.

All the lights are on in every room of the house.
9:40 p.m. Fin.

F is for FINI.

Last Wednesday C turned over the business to the general manager, who was chomping at the bit to be known as "Mr. President." Often feelings of respect, and the lack of it, are reciprocal. A deal was struck and we are now 100% outta there. There is some financial baggage (less than what it could have been) and there is (a lot) of physical baggage. 14 years of work, collecting, saving, creating, receiving is difficult for one house to digest.

My feelings are torn between elation that we are out of there, dismay over the state of our affairs (Our house is not a house of order at the moment. Grrr. And it was so close!!! My studio! Sniffle sniffle.). I am happy that I personally am not responsible for anyone else's poor financial judgments and arrogantly hoping the future of the company continues on its grim path. Quotes, scriptures and sayings about pride, revenge, the natural man race through my thoughts. Not knowing who reads this blog, I need to leave it at that.

While thinking about all of this I was struck with the fact that a "natural man" is a very different thing from a "natural woman." Hmmm.

Y is for YES. Yes to creating ORDER!!!

One of my House of Order assignments is to go to DI (Goodwill) twice a week. OK. Once a week is working, twice just doesn't work into my beaten path.

WHY DO ALL TEAMS GIVE SHIRTS?
WHY DID WE HAVE SO MANY FLAT SOCCER BALLS?
WHAT ARE WE KEEPING SO MUCH CRAP AROUND OUR HOUSE? Why have I accumulated so much crap?

Although I've never really liked the idea of having a garage sale I think I'm going to plan one for a few weeks out... some of our stuff is kinda nice. Gonna sell it; not mess with ebay though. Our warehouse has a stash of antique doors etc. as well.

R is for RELENTLESS.

Lately, well for the last several months, my schedule has been back to back BIG things. The paint, inside, outside, furniture, start of school, Halloween, church calling substitution (PRIMARY MUSIC!!! I get to do music all three hours. :) That's ducky with me but I've gotta put in the time to do fine.), bathroom remuddling, Thanksgiving. Anyway, I can hear C yelling for everyone to get moving, I've got to too, but I wanted to post about the BEEHIVE BAZAAR. That is my recent relentless task for this week. I've also got something up my sleeves, and about my house for a certain very special birthday girl...

I've been busy glazing odd do-dads and firing the kiln. Looking forward to working on that today. I'm going to try and be disciplined. For me the real "F" word is FOCUS.