G is for Grief for Ginger & C is for Celebration

Hello Dear Friends and Family, 

This is a sad email. 

Tonight [5/13/12] we put Ginger, our beloved +14 year old beagle, to sleep. This past week her kidneys and liver were rapidly shutting down, but her heart had a hard time letting go. We have too. 

She couldn't move very well but continued to watch me in the yard, the house, upstairs. I wanted to give her space and some peace and yet wanted to stay with her as she has stayed close to me through happy times, illness and heart ache. The last two nights I spent a lot of time with her outside, where she wanted to be in the 43º mountain air. I don't know how she survived the cold, damp and breezy nights. It must have been hard on her. She returned to the house early Saturday morning only to go out again a few hours later. Dogs often leave their pack when they know it is their time. The bittersweet irony of our yard being more beautiful than ever: it made a heavenly place to try to convalesce. Each child quietly visited her, lay down next to her, sang to her, prayed for her, cried over her and gently pet her incredibly soft fur and velveteen ears. 

Ginger was an unusually sweet, kind, smart, beautiful and patient friend. She was a one dog welcoming committee with a special howl, wag and dance routine. She was a natural vocal coach. I love that she perked up a bit tonight when I sang a beagle version (howl on the Oos) of "Tell Me Why." She was also exceptionally helpful cleaning the kitchen floor and somehow the table tops, even recently! In her prime she was a marvelous, tireless, and curious walking companion -- this last year she loved walking with Christopher almost every day. She helped raise S, K, J, N and M and has taught all of us many lessons of love, service, understanding and compassion. Today we learned about real pain and what a broken heart truly is. 

When I was so busy this past year in the mornings I really missed her. I missed letting her out in all sorts of weather and missed her incredible enchanting eyes lovingly and patiently watching me as I made lunches. Many pieces of sliced turkey or chunks of tuna somehow fell off the counter onto the floor where Ginger enthusiastically cleaned them up. She could tell when I was going to work or going on a walk at -5:00 in the morning and lately chose to stay in her extra comfy bed on the floor by the head of my bed, preferring to wake up later with Christopher. Often I just wanted to be home to be with her, her sweetness and softness. The walks I wanted to go on with her were replaced by tandem naps ... I'd return home and flop onto my favorite chair, then she would jump onto her favorite chair, next to mine, I'd put on my eye shades and we'd both snooze. She has followed me everywhere for years, making a parade when the children were little: Mom + Child + Dog. She loved picking up the kids from school ... she always got "shotgun!" It was touching that she seemed very content in the family van this evening.

She is, and will be, sorely missed. C's and my grief is only compounded by looking at the children's faces at this time. Our memories are full of funny and sweet stories.

This has also been a beautiful time of being together, serving Ginger and each other, talking, holding on, singing hymns, praying and simply loving and remembering Ginger Muffin, our very generous furry sister. Spending time with close family and timely visits from Ginger's favorite people have helped us see connections within the bigger picture.

Today was also S's 20th birthday and Mother's Day -- Ssaid it best: 

Today was a celebration of Life.

Many of you are Ginger's friends so I thought you would want to know. As our friends and family we appreciate your love and understanding.

Onward, with a heavy heart and lots of love, 

Hailey

RFH

Hi Richie, Kerry, Bill and Gina,

Last year I remember there was a ban on glitter on Valentines entered into the Mile High contest. Is that the same this year? The rules don't mention it but I don't want to get on RFH's bad side.

I like glitter, to put it mildly, but it is never loose and no confetti, ever. I'd love to win this contest yet more importantly I'd Love to make Radio From Hell valentines that you Love, and show my love and appreciation for the many sorely needed laughs you've given me this last year. 

Tuesday's Boner #3, the German dork who tattooed his "mini", and Bill's delivery of the story, nearly killed us. Really! While driving to school I was laughing so hard when I looked at my sons' expressions in the rear view mirror and lost it! They are 15 and 13 and they had crooked facial paralysis; stuck in shock and laugh. Suddenly their stunned faces broke and we all busted up ... I slowed down, though should have pulled over, to sop up the tears of laughter. Thanks!

--- Perhaps RFH needs yet another warning/disclaimer? Simmons takes no responsibility for any real or implied opinion, humor or creativity, RFH is not intended for children, and RFH assumes no responsibility for impaired driving caused by excessive laughter.

Valentimely hugs & squishes,

Keep up the great work!

Hailey

A fan in Lindon

N was crying!

N was so sad this morning he was crying that Lio (see below) was taken out of the Deseret News! I helped him write this:

I am 9 years old and I really like comics, especially Lio. Lio is the best! I wanted to read Lio this morning and I was so sad because Lio was gone. And then when Fort Knox appeared it looked so ugly and it is really dumb. So, why did you take it out of the paper? Please bring Leo back!

L is for lost Leo?

Leo? Gone from the Deseret News? Wrote a letter:

Hello,

Although we read other bits of the paper, that is all that is now left, now that all the articles are so short. I subscribe to the Deseret News for one reason: the Funny Pages.

Our favorite are:

Bizarro (when you drop that, we will simply cancel our subscription).

Leo

Pickles

Baby Blues

Mother Goose & Grim

Mutts

All my children are very sad that Leo has been replaced by the very unfunny Fort Knox. Deflocked and Cul de Sac are drippy and unfunny as well, and, if possible, getting worse.

I told my 9 year old son, who is deaf and related to Leo, that I would write to you for him, but I am sad too. Please don't skeletonize the funny pages.

Thank you for your attention.

H

My two youngest children (N, 9 & M, 5) have AB CIs. I feel that we are adrift and don't know where to go for specific advice. Nether of our children seem to be able to wear ear level CI, they fall off and are so expensive that it makes us nervous to let them wear them to school. Our insurance won't cover a 2nd. We don't know where to go for extra speech therapy and it is so expensive! We are currently driving 1 hour to the University of Utah. To get the CIs mapped we need to drive 3 hours to see Dr. C P. Dr. C S and his office have not been very helpful or responsive. The Utah School for the Deaf and Blind is a bureaucratic quagmire and also don't provide services since our children are no longer in their system. We do not live in an isolated area. I look forward to hearing from someone soon. My mobile number is ... and our home number is ... . Thank you for your attention, H

Oh dear. POSSITIVE changes to the Bay to Breakers in SF.

I just finished a letter to the San Francisco Chronicle. Thought I'd post it, against my better judgment. What will Misha, Brit and KtG think if they read this...? Well, it is the San Francisco that I grew up in, slightly west of Utah County. I try to always write honestly.

The story: A corporate sponsor is requiring that the Bay to Breakers race in San Francisco be cleaned up. No more nudity or nasty keg filled "floats" -- AMEN! I say. They asked for memories and I wrote the following. Maybe now I can ask Ashley, Noelle, Steph, Luz (tri-athelete friends) to come run it with me; I never would have before. I've wanted to for years.

My advance apologies to my gentle readers.

re: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/detail?blogid=55&entry_id=35704

I welcome changes to the Bay to Breakers race. It will only be MORE vital, creative, safe, and wonderful, cleaned up and FUN -- without the naked men, drunks and rank floats traversing the City. And far from discouraging visitors it will encourage more health conscious people and (gasp!) families to participate, watching and running.

When my son K was about 4 we went to watch the race for a while. I had told him that Grandma had run this race a few times and there were teams from my high school (Urban) that ran every year. We walked a few blocks and stood on Fell St. to take it all in.

He remembers being on my shoulders for a while and also the back of my hands, over his eyes. He also remembers seeing a lot of men's shoes. It was fun watching the Elvises run by and the flock of flamingos and, what's that? A nuclear explosion? Oh dear. It was a 7 foot tall penis costume, erect (of course), complete with pubic hair. I didn't point that out to him. Then the naked men. Lots and lots of them. More of them. They were walking, laughing, wearing only their running shoes, and slouched socks, in the throng. They really didn't add to the "vitality" of the Bay To Breakers. I didn't point them out either, hoping he wouldn't notice.

More funny clowns on amazing stilts and a few serious runners, a few runners in wheel chairs, and then more fat, flabby, white, blanched legged, naked men. I asked the guy standing next to me, "Um, are there more naked men this year, or what?"

"Oh Yeah! And they SHOULDN'T be!!" the fellow exclaimed with attitude. The Divisidero guy and Pacific Heights gal had a lot in common. We exchanged a little more friendly and funny commentary and then I thought, perhaps it's time to go back to Grandma who was waiting in the car a few blocks away, quickly!

That is when K chimed in, slowly, "Everywhere I look I see something Strange." He had noticed.

97 years ago public crudity and excessive nudity weren't required to have a great time in San Francisco. Go to Burning Man and enjoy all the debauchery a person could wish for. Get drunk at home. A race that starts at 8:00 in the morning can be colorful and clean, vital and fun.

Thanks for listening.
H

U is for Ugh.

I'm back to letter writing... my right elbow has been giving me a lot of grief. After ruling out spin classes and bike riding and funny sleep patterns I realized that it is my computer, how I sit and especially how I use the track pad and not the mouse (too many papers to the right of my computer!). I've taken a break from all things on the computer, blog included. It has helped.

On Thursday, while frantically putting finishing touches on my stuff for the Beehive Bazaar I was listening to KUER, local public radio. There is other public radio in Utah County but not much. The locally produced interview show, Radio West, is notoriously anti-Mormon. The show that day, being polite here, was about how the pioneers were so senseless to have traveled by foot across the country in all kinds of weather. I snapped. I registered to leave a comment, which of course took too long so I just left the computer and got back to work. When I came back everything had cleared up, online and in my head, and I quickly wrote the following:
~~To read the 37 (last I checked) other comments and KUER's reply go here (http://action.publicbroadcasting.net/kuer/posts/list/1965810.page).

Once again KUER and Doug Fabrizio are on the attack of anything Mormon, or anything honestly faithful, no matter the religion. This time it is the Mormon pioneers' judgment, core faith and lives.

As I listened I couldn't believe Mr. Roberts' tone. At first I thought I was simply defensive, my ancestors were pioneers and my daughter went on a trek, but then I couldn't believe how this guy could be so pejorative about history and especially the cost of human lives in the pursuit of a better life. I almost expected him to say, "Those imbecilic pioneers, what were they thinking to leave without silk underwear and a GPS?" Doesn't he, and Mr. Fabrizio, realize that 1847 is not a lifetime away from ours, it is a galaxy? At that time there wasn't even plumbing in the White House! The building of the Great Wall of China, the Pyramids, using his logic, were nothing more than a waste of human energy. Lives were lost building the Golden Gate Bridge -- they never should have tried before there was the right technology, or 100% faultless judgment.

What is David Roberts' family history? And Doug Fabrizio's? (I'm not interested enough to criticize it. Just wondering if they personally care.) Don't they find ceaselessly finding fault with others' history, faith and experiences tiresome? I agree with the other comment, with hindsight it is easy to criticize the past. It is easy to criticize and difficult to explain.

KUER (a Utah based station) and Doug Fabrizio in particular, seem to delight in Mormon-bashing. Another example of this was days after President Hinkley died Mr. Fabrizio dug deep enough to find fault, when many in this community were mourning. Why not take on the pioneer history so many Utahn's personally revere and have tried to understand?

Also, why wasn't a Mormon historian on the show to shine light on the aspersions Mr. Roberts cast? Please at lease try to be more balanced.

Letter to The Writer's Almanac

I have enjoyed the Writer's Almanac for as long as I could-have. While it was on KBYU I set my alarm to it. Although I was awake I didn't want to miss it. When it was off the local public radio stations for years I wrote to them on your behalf, mine too! Now I enjoy the daily email and listen to the podcasts when I can. Thank you for your great work.

Here's the deal: CHEER UP. It seems that so many of the poems and histories recently chosen are glum. Right now, I am awake contemplating my children's lives... The email from my deaf son's 2nd grade teacher. My beautiful 16 year old. Schedules. Republican (not really "conservative") neighbors and relatives telling me, loudly, what they think about things I quietly disagree with. My house is a mess. The hazelnut birthday cake didn't turn out as planned. There is personal and National debt. And then there is Sarah Hot-babe Palin, mean girl, un-qualified VP?, train-wreck?

Please, oh please, help me out by just throwing out a few funny poems, something light-hearted, now and then. I'm probably not alone in my stress and woe and need for humor. Probably need a few extra doses right now.

Thanks for listening!
Your fan,
H

H is for Happy. As in: I am so happy that I FINALLY snail-mailed the letter to Dr. McP at BYU.

In the process of clearing off my desk I am finishing things up, as well as throwing things out. Several weeks ago I wrote a long over due letter to a department chair at BYU. I emailed it. Still haven't heard from him... Today I put a copy in the mail. I showed K (13) and told him how when I was a kid this is how we wrote to people. I let him touch the envelope! He even chose the stamp.

An aside: About the same time that I emailed Dr. McP at BYU I wrote to ORSON SCOTT CARD! about a great article he wrote about Good/Better/Best Mormons. That is my title, his was "Heyborne in the age of Purity." Here is the link to the article in Mormon Times: http://www.mormontimes.com/ME_blogs.php?id=1346

Mr. Card actually wrote ME BACK! Promptly! A lovely multi-paragraph email. Drat that I can't publish it here. He asked me not to, which is understandable. I'm not publishing my letter to him either lest I offend all the Mormons I know, that I know are so much better than I... neighbors AND relatives! (thin ice zone) Anyway, I haven't heard from BYU's Dr. McP.

Here is the BYU letter:
Since BYU’s Speech and Language Clinic director Lee Robinson told me last August that both of my deaf children were being dropped from BYU’s roster, I have wanted to write this letter. Now almost a year later I can tell a more complete story.
In short: Ms. Robinson called us last fall and left a message that there was no longer space for my children; possibly there would be space for the winter semester. She called again in January saying there wasn’t space for either of them. By the abrupt cut off of services it was clear that the clinic’s priority is not to provide consistent and fair services to children, but rather to accommodate the students’ changing numbers and needs. This practice hurts the children and families the clinic is meant to serve, especially since there are so few speech services for deaf children in Utah County.
Here is our story: My daughter M was implanted January 2007, she was just 3 and had been going to speech therapy at BYU for at least one semester. Ms. Robinson decided that since M would not be activated for a month there wasn’t any use in continuing therapy; she was abruptly dropped. I was not consulted, or even asked. When I asked the graduate student who called in January if I could talk to Ms. Robinson the student said that I wouldn’t change her mind.
This decision was not only rude, it was wrong. The first weeks after a young child is implanted and activated is crucial to her development. Also, during the time before the activation M could still hear with her very powerful hearing aid on the un-implanted side.
I had been told she would definitely be in for Spring term. She wasn’t. Fall? She wasn’t. This unfortunate situation was compounded by the fact that the Utah School for the Deaf and Blind (USDB) was asleep at the wheel and didn’t start promised therapy until May. Our insurance and the ENT surgeon didn’t offer any therapy or suggestions.
As M mother, not a doctor or therapist, I knew there was a serious problem. I spoke to the audiologist who mapped M's implant and he recommended that I call Dr. Susan Naidu at the University of Utah. She was very kind and promptly set an appointment for a diagnostic evaluation. I asked about their waiting list. They don’t have one. BYU’s is about 3 years I was told when I first applied. Deaf children sometimes jump to the top since the students need to work with deaf children.
M started speech at the University of Utah immediately. She looked forward the therapy and I watched each session. The students were professional, prepared and always happy to see and work with M. Perhaps the best part of the experience, aside from the promptness of getting the needed services, was that Dr. Naidu also observed the therapy, joined in as necessary and shared insights and gave advice about CIs and deaf children. The differences between the programs and the directors are stunning.
I noticed at BYU that even though the therapy rooms and observation areas had been recently remodeled the professors rarely spoke with me; they were down the hall, behind a locked door. Also, my other children were not allowed to watch or participate at BYU. This was often difficult and unfortunate since siblings are sometimes the best language teachers. The student therapists would talk to me and then talk to their supervisors for answers, which I would receive the following session.
My son N also has a cochlear implant. He is now 7 and was implanted at age 6 after about 11 months of not hearing due to a sudden drop in his hearing and a prolonged battle with insurance coverage during which time he received therapy at BYU.
He was not dropped from the BYU program until the fall. Ms. Robinson said he would have a spot in January. When she called again to say, “Sorry.” I was not surprised but I was disappointed. Her reason was that there simply weren’t enough students to provide the therapy. Is this another department that BYU (Provo) is doing away with? If I had known that there was a possibility that the services would be so inconsistent I might have weighed my options more carefully.
We were not the only family dropped, and there are other children that were kept on. I don’t know what the criteria for removal was. It wasn’t solely need.
Ms. Robinson came across as cold and uncaring every time I dealt with her. Once while discussing payment she scolded my son for touching the small action figures in her office, that were at his eye-level. Another time she hovered in the entry waiting for me, to see if we were late? She never spoke to me and I found that odd. I had told the therapist that I couldn’t pick up all the children from 4 different schools, travel and make it on the hour. Once the time was changed to quarter-after the problem was solved.
After N was dropped I called Dr. Naidu. She was happy to work with N as well. The students and Dr. Naidu went out of their way to get N and M on the same days, times and in rooms where I could observe both children at the same time. I deeply appreciate their thoughtfulness.
The cost is about twice BYU’s rate. It should actually be much higher but since our insurance doesn’t cover speech therapy we get a discounted rate. The drive (twice a week) is grizzly, not only the cost of gas and environmental concerns, but the time away from home (minimum 6 hours a week, verses 2 1/2 at BYU) is what is especially difficult for us. My other children need a parent at home in the afternoon.
The lack of options for deaf children in Utah County is a primary reason that I am writing this letter and have tried to create a foundation to help deaf children in Utah County. When I mentioned this problem to Ms. Robinson she expressed little interest and said that BYU students would most likely not be available to participate at a new Utah County facility.
I hope that this letter helps BYU improve its Comprehensive Clinic services. I welcome hearing from you.
Sincerely,
H ...

S is for Silly letter to Stampin' Up! !!!

Another desktop find:
This is a mini-fit over wasting time on a stupid stamp set, that I (still in purge mode) realize I also wasted money on. Then I wasted more time writing the letter. Which is time I'm glad I wasted. Received a lovely generic letter from the co. The long time art director is something of a poo-poo head, to be polite. It is such a corny name to write in a letter! !!! I wish I had been a bit more snarky and used it more! !!!
May 27, 2008
Customer Service
Stampin’ Up!
[Somewhere in Utah]
To Whom It May Concern:
In March I placed a Stampin’Up! order at a friend’s Stampin’Up! party. I have finally assembled all of it--this has been a drag. This process was made worse when a different consultant came over and showed me how I had mounted all my stamps wrong, by not cutting them close enough. The most annoying assembly project was the Wild West Alphabet. Many had to be microwaved, removed, re-cut and remounted. What a waste of time! And then I found the receipt. I paid $40.95 for the set! At least the individual stamps could have been die cut, as were some of the others I ordered.
Sincerely yours,
H

X is for my LETTER to X96.

For those of you not in Utah, X96 is a radio station with a cool morning show. The rest of their programming is alternative music. I just wrote this letter and thought I'd post it.

Years ago my friend Elizabeth Pfau asked me if I was going to be one of those "letter writing Moms?" YEP. One (more) reason for the name of the blog.

Hi Bill, (and Kerry and Gina),

I listened to your show on Thursday. I had been looking forward to it for the week before, then Thursday morning I was stuck forgetting about it while writing an email to my son's teacher, and ccing his audiologist. My 10th grade daughter reminded me. (Its hep that we can both listen to your station.)

Anyway... to attempt to be brief:

• We have 5 children, our 2 youngest are deaf, both have cochlear implants. They are 7 and 3 years old. Our 7 year old is in 1st grade and is mainstreamed. Everyone is amazed at how well our children hear and speak. We are too!

• Our son heard with hearing aids and then lost the rest of his hearing around his 5th birthday. That is a recipe for frustration. Although we signed with him he knew how much he was missing. He was a miserable kid to be around. The CI has completely helped him emotionally and with communication. We had to fight our insurance company to cover it. (Our cost would have been $80K!) He still needs speech therapy but that story is kinda long...

• Cochlear implants are miracles, not "satellite dishes" on heads. Is a diabetic pump on a child, or adult, something to disparage? Also, children born with hearing loss into hearing families are no longer sent to "residential" schools, isolated from their families, since they can learn to hear and speak so much more easily than in the past. Cochlear implants are the future for deaf children and adults.

• Deaf people who can speak, statistically, have MANY more options to them. They are autonomous people. From my vantage point I can't imagine saddling my children with a lifetime of being accompanied by an interpreter and never spending time with grandparents, cousins and other extended family and friends because the rest of the world doesn't sign. We sign some and don't have a problem with it, but I don't expect the rest of the world to. If our family only spoke French wouldn't it be odd to demand that everyone around us learn French? Yeah, yeah, we should then move to a French speaking county... again, AWAY from everything we call "home."

• The bit about "dating a deaf" girl kinda freaked me out. For many sick and wrong reasons deaf children are sexually abused more than other children. I don't care how hot the deaf girl was in the studio, it just didn't sound right to me. How to get to know a deaf girl or boy? Say hello and wave. I can't clarify my thoughts here... fear for my kids? or the memory of the weird friend of friends that told me that he always wanted to have sex with blind girl? --just because, he said. Girl? Blind? Again, I'm not at all articulate here, but it's just not something to encourage, at all.

• The bit about deaf education was right on. There is an excellent new program that just started in Logan called Sound Beginnings. http://www.usu.edu/ust/index.cfm?article=15151 It would be cool if you talked to Karl White from that school about what is going on for the Future of deaf children. USDB is a fairly whacked out place. Funny thing is they just don't listen. In Utah County I am involved with a foundation that is trying to get off the ground called Journey to Hear, to create a great preschool that is not in +20 year old trailers...

Thanks for paying attention, which is what I tell my children to do, since listening, whether hearing or not, is tricky.
Keep being original. Your show is great.

H ...
...Utah

p.s. Good luck to Gina. And good luck finding a sub. My daughter wanted me to enter... would've been cool. There is a spin teacher at Gold's Gym in Utah County... RONA! She would be fantastic! Even for a guest spot. She has a large devoted following. Amazing teacher.