R is for Red.

On a day when we are celebrating whoknowswhat and wearing green I thought I'd post these pictures from San Francisco ... in red.

Valentine Special: Fashion Report

Today S is featured in her amazing Valentine ensemble. For me it was like the first day of Kindergarten except that she chose everything. From the spiny skirt on the yellow, pink and red patterned dress, to the green t-shirt, to the stand-out yellow tights, WITH the subtle show shoes, in patten red leather. Hmmm mmmm. She is a very fine Valentine. But (!) the ensemble needed something on top... she dove into her closet and pulled out the coolest cropped and most perfect pink leather jacket from Jody. (Thanks again Jody!) Wow.

With clothes this great a girl wants to be seen. She wore it to school and the boys were tripping over themselves in the halls. On a little shopping trip with me a certain cashier kept glancing her way. At night we went to the Louw's incredibly fun Valentine dance. S was the best dressed there.

On the not so fashion savvy side, seen on the Sundance slopes:

I am wearing my mother's 1960's vintage fur hat. Perfect day. Warm, but funky hat. Wanted to show Julie (see the fashion post for 2.10.08). Also, my deepest apologies to Dan Piraro and his beautiful wife.
DFM kept thinking that someone was going to throw paint on me and this vintage chapeau. I wouldn't have blamed them if they had. They would've needed more paint though... at the deli/shop out side the grill a thin blond woman was wearing a very new fur scarf, complete with tails. That was way beyond necessity of a warm coat or hat, or even mom's funny furry hat.

When M saw me in the hat she jumped and ran to her dad!

Speaking of Bizarro:

Valentine Special: Rejection Lines... perfect for all your confectionery put downs.

Before embarking on the confrontation cookies (see previous post) we came up with a list of rude, but not mean, things 12 year old boys and older girls could say to someone they would like to know less. Once I reached my 20's I realized there were many scenes that I didn't have the script for. Just trying to help my kids learn the script. :)
Here are some examples that I am trying to teach SKJN&M:
Someone asks you to babysit, go on a date etc.? I'd love to but I can't.
Someone asks you a very personal, and inappropriate question? Why do you ask?
What is your phone number? 8o1-WAY-WRNG. [just give a wrong number, practice before you need it.]
::X::X::X::X::X::
The phrases needed to be short and slightly funny. Here is the list we came up with:
Scram
Plop
As if
Don't even
ha ha ha ha ha
1800 GET LOST
Get Lost
Thanks for Asking
Next Time
Not U Again
Just Try.
Ha Ha NO.
Go Away
UR A ...
Poop
Nasty
Forget It
& Who Are You?
What's that Smell?
Maybe next time?
No Thanks
No
Now Go Away
Hardly
Love to, Not
Right
Gross
Sick
In Your Dreams
My favorite: What's That?

Nice ones:
Cutie Pie
Ask Me
I hope.
Cool Cat
(heart) of Gold
Smiley Face
Cupcake.
Hey Z! Have any contributions?

Valentine Special: Confrontation Cookies!

Our 2008 version. Not so perfect and yet these cookies are just so funny. The ones that K brought to school, the only acceptably cool valentine for a 12 year old boy to bring to school, was a better recipe. I'll post that soon, hopefully.

The 2007 Shepherd's cookies, so perfect. And! so perfectly rude.
Earlier I wrote that 2008 is the year of NO COOKIE that is pretty much holding true. There needs to be a few exceptions. Valentine's Day is one. St. Patrick's Day? Easter? Nah, not worth the calories.

Sugar Cookies
Fun to make with Children. This recipe is the classic sugar cookie. The kind that “Grandma B’s” has mutilated into a 4 oz. monster of fat and gluttony, injected with hydrogenated fat inside and then schmeared more on top with pink icing.

¾ cup butter at room temperature (one and a half sticks)
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 ¾ cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
sugar to sprinkle on top, try the fun glittery type.

Beat sugar and butter until creamy; beat in eggs and vanilla.

In another bowl [oh whatever, just add the dry ingredients thoughtfully. Don't bother getting another bowl dirty.] stir together flour, baking powder and salt; gradually add to butter mixture, to form a soft, even dough. If you have the time, cover and refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour or for up to 3 days.

On a floured board, roll out dough to a thickness of about 1/8 inch. Cut out with cookie cutters. Place slightly apart on parchment covered baking sheets. Sprinkle with sugar, or hold off on that and then ice with royal icing. Go to a baking/cake decorating supply shop and buy the instant kind. Very easy, same ingredients as homemade: simplify.

Bake in a 400º oven until edges are lightly browned (8-10 minutes). the original recipe says, ”Store airtight.” Oh right, as if there will be any to store. It also says that this recipe, “Makes about 4 dozen,” that is if half of the dough isn’t snitched by 4, 7, 12, or 15 year olds. 10 year olds, it is a well known fact, don’t like cookie dough, ever.

Originally found in a booklet from Sunset Magazine, Favorite Cookie Recipes. 1990

Valentine Special: Happiness is a Silky Tag!

H is for Hahahahaha.

For some reason C thinks this is very funny. Dan Piraro is indeed brilliant, but this comic is just too damn real to be ha-ha funny.