Valentine Special: Rejection Lines... perfect for all your confectionery put downs.

Before embarking on the confrontation cookies (see previous post) we came up with a list of rude, but not mean, things 12 year old boys and older girls could say to someone they would like to know less. Once I reached my 20's I realized there were many scenes that I didn't have the script for. Just trying to help my kids learn the script. :)
Here are some examples that I am trying to teach SKJN&M:
Someone asks you to babysit, go on a date etc.? I'd love to but I can't.
Someone asks you a very personal, and inappropriate question? Why do you ask?
What is your phone number? 8o1-WAY-WRNG. [just give a wrong number, practice before you need it.]
::X::X::X::X::X::
The phrases needed to be short and slightly funny. Here is the list we came up with:
Scram
Plop
As if
Don't even
ha ha ha ha ha
1800 GET LOST
Get Lost
Thanks for Asking
Next Time
Not U Again
Just Try.
Ha Ha NO.
Go Away
UR A ...
Poop
Nasty
Forget It
& Who Are You?
What's that Smell?
Maybe next time?
No Thanks
No
Now Go Away
Hardly
Love to, Not
Right
Gross
Sick
In Your Dreams
My favorite: What's That?

Nice ones:
Cutie Pie
Ask Me
I hope.
Cool Cat
(heart) of Gold
Smiley Face
Cupcake.
Hey Z! Have any contributions?

Valentine Special: Confrontation Cookies!

Our 2008 version. Not so perfect and yet these cookies are just so funny. The ones that K brought to school, the only acceptably cool valentine for a 12 year old boy to bring to school, was a better recipe. I'll post that soon, hopefully.

The 2007 Shepherd's cookies, so perfect. And! so perfectly rude.
Earlier I wrote that 2008 is the year of NO COOKIE that is pretty much holding true. There needs to be a few exceptions. Valentine's Day is one. St. Patrick's Day? Easter? Nah, not worth the calories.

Sugar Cookies
Fun to make with Children. This recipe is the classic sugar cookie. The kind that “Grandma B’s” has mutilated into a 4 oz. monster of fat and gluttony, injected with hydrogenated fat inside and then schmeared more on top with pink icing.

¾ cup butter at room temperature (one and a half sticks)
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 ¾ cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
sugar to sprinkle on top, try the fun glittery type.

Beat sugar and butter until creamy; beat in eggs and vanilla.

In another bowl [oh whatever, just add the dry ingredients thoughtfully. Don't bother getting another bowl dirty.] stir together flour, baking powder and salt; gradually add to butter mixture, to form a soft, even dough. If you have the time, cover and refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour or for up to 3 days.

On a floured board, roll out dough to a thickness of about 1/8 inch. Cut out with cookie cutters. Place slightly apart on parchment covered baking sheets. Sprinkle with sugar, or hold off on that and then ice with royal icing. Go to a baking/cake decorating supply shop and buy the instant kind. Very easy, same ingredients as homemade: simplify.

Bake in a 400º oven until edges are lightly browned (8-10 minutes). the original recipe says, ”Store airtight.” Oh right, as if there will be any to store. It also says that this recipe, “Makes about 4 dozen,” that is if half of the dough isn’t snitched by 4, 7, 12, or 15 year olds. 10 year olds, it is a well known fact, don’t like cookie dough, ever.

Originally found in a booklet from Sunset Magazine, Favorite Cookie Recipes. 1990

C is for Calamity Cake and NO COOKIES.

Dr. Daniel visited last week along with my cousin Vivian (!!!). It was great to see and sorta ski with both of them. Thanks DG for tuckering out your mother. :\

Told Dr. Dan about the exploding squash and then he commented on my wrap that self-imploded. The kids brought up the volcano chocolate cake several years ago (the picture haunts me from the pages of the cook book). Now I found this gem. I made the cake last August for J's 10th. It might have been a mess but everyone loved it. Except for Steph's cakes and cupcakes, the rule is: the uglier the better.

2008 has been declared the NO COOKIE year. A dr. pointed out to me that even one extra cookie (100 cal ea.) eaten everyday, would wind up adding 5 lbs over the course of a year. And, he added, few people eat only one cookie at a time. This is not a dieting blog. I will not go on about this. Just to say... I took down the +5 cookie recipes hanging in the pantry; I caught his drift. Everyone does appreciate homemade cookies on ski days and they are major barter in school lunches. I made the healthiest (wholewheat, oatmeal, applesauce, chocolate chip) I could for Dr. D & V, J & DFM's ski day. Also I packed several extra in S, K, & N's lunches. Perhaps 1 batch a month is do-able. K has Valentine cookies in mind.

TRUE TALE: K was at lunch. His school gives out vegetables, free, to all the students. He and a friend of his like to trade vegetables. K asked, "Have you had one of my mom's cookies?"
"No."
"Here."
Munch. Munch. "I'll trade you my broccoli for another one."

G is for GINGERBREAD!

Gingerbread.
This is the best, most simple, most consistent and yummiest recipe, ever. Also, it has a lovely texture. I've tried a lot. We have been making it for over 10 years. I'm thinking that we just had our last Gingerbread party though... feel as though I've run an extra mile after running a marathon. Here is the recipe.

• Preheat oven to 350ºf Cover cookie sheets with parchment paper. It is reusable and fat free.

Heat to boiling point:
1 cup MOLASSES
Add: 1/2 cup SUGAR
6 tablespoons BUTTER
2 tablespoons MILK

Mix: 4 cups FLOUR
1 teaspoon BAKING SODA
1 teaspoon SALT Maybe a little less
1 teaspoon NUTMEG
1 teaspoon CINNAMON
1 teaspoon ground CLOVES
1 teaspoon GINGER, powered
Add molasses mixture to flour mixture.
Blend well. If the dough isn’t holding together, or you like it more malleable add a few tablespoons of warm water or milk.
Roll out the dough about 1/4 inch thick and cut into large and small gingerbread men, using special cookie cutters or very sharp knife.
• Bake for 5–7 minutes.
• Decorate when cool with frosting, candies, etc.
• If it gets too dry or crumbly put it in the microwave for abou 20 seconds, or less. Don't handle the dough too much.

H 1997

C is for Cookies, for Christmas, that are cool.

This is what a food section should aspire to. It is from San Francisco of course. The tag line reads like a bit of poetry: "Holiday cookies give a nod to the past and a wink to the future." The image is magical and makes you want to pick one up, not run to the lou. As I read the recipe I thought of ways to substitute for the mint (chocolate, almond, vanilla)... the food editor actually INSPIRED me in the kitchen.

Check out the entire food section at sfgate.com.

P is for Pumkin.

From the Day in Pictures section of sfgate.com.

Seriously folks, if you want to eat pumpkin, this is a great recipe. Something about these cookies makes them super yummy. Everybody loves them.

(Don't look SisterSkinny... it's not pretty!)

PUMPKIN CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

Preheat oven to 375º

Combine:
2 cups sugar
3/4 cup vegetable oil

Stir in:
2 cups pumpkin puree (16 oz can)
2 teaspoons milk
2 teaspoons vanilla
2 eggs

Then add:
4 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
4 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
3 teaspoons cinnamon (to punch it up a bit I recently added a bit of cloves, ginger and allspice, VERY optional)

Mix. Then Blend in:
12 ounces chocolate chips (mix semi-sweet & milk chocolate)
1 cup chopped nuts (Very optional)

Drop from teaspoon onto cookie sheet, covered with parchment paper. Bake 8 minutes, or a little more. Cool on cooling rack.