G is for Grief for Ginger & C is for Celebration

Hello Dear Friends and Family, 

This is a sad email. 

Tonight [5/13/12] we put Ginger, our beloved +14 year old beagle, to sleep. This past week her kidneys and liver were rapidly shutting down, but her heart had a hard time letting go. We have too. 

She couldn't move very well but continued to watch me in the yard, the house, upstairs. I wanted to give her space and some peace and yet wanted to stay with her as she has stayed close to me through happy times, illness and heart ache. The last two nights I spent a lot of time with her outside, where she wanted to be in the 43º mountain air. I don't know how she survived the cold, damp and breezy nights. It must have been hard on her. She returned to the house early Saturday morning only to go out again a few hours later. Dogs often leave their pack when they know it is their time. The bittersweet irony of our yard being more beautiful than ever: it made a heavenly place to try to convalesce. Each child quietly visited her, lay down next to her, sang to her, prayed for her, cried over her and gently pet her incredibly soft fur and velveteen ears. 

Ginger was an unusually sweet, kind, smart, beautiful and patient friend. She was a one dog welcoming committee with a special howl, wag and dance routine. She was a natural vocal coach. I love that she perked up a bit tonight when I sang a beagle version (howl on the Oos) of "Tell Me Why." She was also exceptionally helpful cleaning the kitchen floor and somehow the table tops, even recently! In her prime she was a marvelous, tireless, and curious walking companion -- this last year she loved walking with Christopher almost every day. She helped raise S, K, J, N and M and has taught all of us many lessons of love, service, understanding and compassion. Today we learned about real pain and what a broken heart truly is. 

When I was so busy this past year in the mornings I really missed her. I missed letting her out in all sorts of weather and missed her incredible enchanting eyes lovingly and patiently watching me as I made lunches. Many pieces of sliced turkey or chunks of tuna somehow fell off the counter onto the floor where Ginger enthusiastically cleaned them up. She could tell when I was going to work or going on a walk at -5:00 in the morning and lately chose to stay in her extra comfy bed on the floor by the head of my bed, preferring to wake up later with Christopher. Often I just wanted to be home to be with her, her sweetness and softness. The walks I wanted to go on with her were replaced by tandem naps ... I'd return home and flop onto my favorite chair, then she would jump onto her favorite chair, next to mine, I'd put on my eye shades and we'd both snooze. She has followed me everywhere for years, making a parade when the children were little: Mom + Child + Dog. She loved picking up the kids from school ... she always got "shotgun!" It was touching that she seemed very content in the family van this evening.

She is, and will be, sorely missed. C's and my grief is only compounded by looking at the children's faces at this time. Our memories are full of funny and sweet stories.

This has also been a beautiful time of being together, serving Ginger and each other, talking, holding on, singing hymns, praying and simply loving and remembering Ginger Muffin, our very generous furry sister. Spending time with close family and timely visits from Ginger's favorite people have helped us see connections within the bigger picture.

Today was also S's 20th birthday and Mother's Day -- Ssaid it best: 

Today was a celebration of Life.

Many of you are Ginger's friends so I thought you would want to know. As our friends and family we appreciate your love and understanding.

Onward, with a heavy heart and lots of love, 

Hailey